Ah, Texas—the land of big trucks, big personalities, and apparently, big efforts to crush small hemp businesses with cartoonishly bad legislation. Welcome to the Lone Star State, where you can open-carry an AR-15 at brunch, but heaven forbid you sell a 5mg hemp gummy without a legal team, a vault, and divine intervention.
Enter House Bill 28 (HB 28) and Senate Bill 3 (SB 3)—two legislative dumpster fires dressed up as “public safety reforms” that would ban or severely restrict most hemp-derived THC products across Texas. And guess who’s cozying up to this chaos? Spec’s Wine, Spirits & Finer Foods—a big ol’ booze retailer that, we believe, just recently discovered hemp exists and now wants to write the rulebook.
This is not just a bad policy moment—it’s a full-blown cowboy cosplay of corporate overreach. So grab your CBD tea (while it’s still legal), and let’s ride through this ridiculous rodeo together.
SB 3: The Full Ban With Bonus Irony
First up: SB 3, the legislative equivalent of using a wrecking ball to swat a fly.
This Senate bill, backed by Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and authored by Sen. Charles Perry (who we assume has never read a lab report), would ban all hemp-derived THC products outright—even federally legal ones. That means sayonara to delta-9, delta 8, hemp flower and probably your grandma’s arthritis gummies too.
This bill already passed the Texas Senate like it was late for church. Now it's heading to the House, where we hope someone remembers that people actually like freedom down here.
Because nothing screams “Texas values” quite like banning a plant extract that helps veterans sleep.
HB 28: The Polished Turd of Regulatory Theatre
If SB 3 is the cannonball, HB 28 is the slow-rolling bulldozer—quiet, calculated, and still completely destructive.
This “compromise” bill doesn’t ban everything. Oh no, that would be too obvious. Instead, it redefines the market in a way that’s so narrow, only beverage companies and their giant distributors will survive.
It bans:
-
Gummies
-
Smokables
-
Vapes
-
Most full-spectrum products
…and leaves us with... beverages. Because that’s definitely the most effective way to consume cannabinoids, right? A watered-down, overpriced, barely-buzzing 2mg can of THC in a “mango mojito” flavor. Groundbreaking.
Also, HB 28 throws in a $5,000-per-location license fee, bans all inhalable hemp products, and raises the legal purchase age to 21, even for CBD. Because clearly, CBD balm is a gateway drug.
We’re starting to think this bill was written during bottomless mimosa brunch at a downtown hotel bar.
🥤 The Rise of the Beverage Bros™
Let’s talk about the Beverage Bros™—those hemp “entrepreneurs” who only sell THC-infused drinks, most of whom came from Big Alcohol or fled the burning wreckage of Big Cannabis.
They weren’t here when we were fighting to legalize hemp. They didn’t donate to grassroots campaigns. They weren’t trying to educate consumers when nobody even knew what a cannabinoid was.
But now?
Now that the hard work is done and the market is booming, the Beverage Bros have arrived with:
-
Cans with pastel labels
-
$10 price tags
-
Buzzwords like “nano-infused” and “euphoric hydration”
Their whole vibe is “we’ve never smoked weed, but we microdose THC at tech conferences.”
These guys want the entire market to revolve around drinks—conveniently the only format they sell. And thanks to HB 28, they just might get it.
Y’all remember when Spotify tried to kill the radio star? This is like that—except worse, because at least Spotify doesn’t pretend it invented music.
We Believe Spec’s Just Discovered Hemp—and Now They Want the Whole Pie
Now let’s get to the real rodeo clown in this parade: Spec’s.
Yes, Spec’s—the legendary Texas liquor chain known for selling every kind of alcohol under the sun, from $6 boxed sangria to $600 bourbons named after Civil War generals.
We believe Spec’s only started selling hemp-derived products within the last 12 months. A fresh face at the hemp party. And yet, somehow, they’ve jumped right to the front of the line, loudly supporting HB 28 like they’ve been fighting for plant medicine since Willie Nelson’s first tour.
To our knowledge, Spec’s had no involvement in the early days of hemp legalization. They didn’t show up when Facebook banned us. They weren’t there when the FDA ghosted the entire industry. But now? Now they’re lobbying for a bill that seems to favor their business model—large-format beverage sales at retail outlets.
We’re not saying they’re opportunistic carpetbaggers riding into town to claim hemp gold like it’s 1849—but we are heavily implying it.
In our opinion, it’s like your HOA president suddenly demanding to run the barbecue competition—despite being a vegan who just learned what brisket is.
Big Booze Wants to Be Big Hemp—But Only If They Can Rewrite the Rules
This isn’t just about Spec’s. This is about Big Alcohol trying to rebrand itself as wellness-forward cannabis innovators.
And they’re using the same playbook:
-
Step 1: Wait until the little guys build the market.
-
Step 2: Cry to lawmakers about “safety.”
-
Step 3: Regulate competitors out of existence.
-
Step 4: Slap a THC label on a soda and profit.
Let’s be real. Alcohol is one of the most dangerous and costly substances in America—linked to cancer, liver disease, DUIs, and about 140,000 deaths a year. Hemp? The worst-case scenario is eating too many gummies and falling asleep watching YouTube.
So forgive us if we don’t think Spec’s, or any booze-centric retailer, is the moral compass we should trust to guide hemp policy.
The Real Stakes: Jobs, Innovation, and the Texan Way of Life
If HB 28 or SB 3 pass, here’s what Texas stands to lose:
-
Tens of thousands of jobs in farming, retail, and manufacturing.
-
$5.5 billion in sales and over $250 million in annual tax revenue.
-
The entire cottage industry of small businesses that built hemp from the ground up.
-
Consumer access to safe, tested, effective products.
And all so a handful of recently converted Beverage Bros and big-box liquor retailers can pretend they discovered cannabinoids.
This isn’t regulation—it’s a hostile takeover in slow motion.
Let’s Not Forget the Hypocrisy Here
Texas: You say you love small business, liberty, and consumer freedom.
So why are you trying to shut down an entire industry just because a few guys in polos at a country club realized they can make money off THC in a can?
Why is it legal to buy 180-proof Everclear but suddenly dangerous to sell a hemp gummy with 5mg THC?
Why can you smoke a cigarette, buy a gun, and rent a U-Haul at 18—but not vape CBD or use a topical if HB 28 passes?
We’re just asking the hard questions. In our opinion, this isn’t about safety—it’s about power.
What You Can Do to Push Back
Want to keep hemp legal and accessible in Texas? Here’s how:
-
Call Your Texas Representative
Tell them to vote NO on HB 28 and SB 3. Politely explain that banning or restricting hemp products kills jobs, hurts small businesses, and limits consumer freedom. -
Support Legacy Hemp Brands
Buy from the companies who were here before hemp got trendy. The ones that stuck through the hard times. -
Make Some Noise
Use your voice on social media, in newsletters, and at community meetings.Suggested hashtags:
-
#Don’tBanMyGummies
-
#StopHB28
-
#SpecThisAintIt
-
#BeverageBrosBackOff
-
#TexasFreedomMeansHemp
-
Final Word: Let Hemp Grow, Y’all
The Texas hemp industry wasn’t built by boardrooms, bottling plants, or beverage think tanks. It was built by farmers, shop owners, product formulators, advocates, and innovators—the real cowboys and cowgirls of cannabis.
Letting bills like HB 28 and SB 3 pass would betray every value Texas claims to stand for: entrepreneurship, personal freedom, innovation, and common sense.
If lawmakers let Big Booze and late-to-the-party Beverage Bros dictate hemp law, they’re not protecting Texans—they’re protecting monopolies.
So let’s saddle up, speak out, and make sure the Lone Star State stays wild, free, and full of flavorful gummies.
